Unfortunately, I feel the need to post this again...everyone really should read this. Again. Now. ~NM


Four years ago this month, a handful of Bones fans began this site with the express purpose of making - and keeping -  it a place where people who enjoy the show could share their love in peace.

That's not as simple as it sounds, as all of us were refugees from sites where bitterness and anger ruled, to the point that people who weren't unhappy were expected to limit their comments in some fashion (i.e., by only posting in the 'optimists' thread.') We didn't want that. 

We've had a really awesome four years since then - met some wonderful people, made some great friends and generally enjoyed the show together. It's not always easy, though, to find the line between criticizing the show, and spiraling into negativity that can pull everyone down and spoil it for all. With that in mind, we thought we'd take this anniversary to review a couple of things.

First, criticism is welcome. But repeating the same criticism in every post, or every week, isn't. We all know how you feel; we heard you just fine the first fifteen times you said it. We can't do anything to change it for you, so the only thing repeating it does is make everyone unhappy. People who agree with you never have the chance to see if there's something else they can enjoy instead, and people who don't agree with you can find it difficult to be happy when you're stuck on that thing you don't like. State your views, dialogue about it, and move on. 

Second, years of experience have taught us that the key to a good spirit prevailing on the board is for people to respect others' positions, and the best way to do that is not to use absolutes. It may seem trivial, but there's an enormous difference in tone between saying "that scene sucked" and in saying "to me, that scene sucked." In both you're expressing your views, but the second one acknowledges the possibility that others might feel differently, therefore validating their right to co-exist with you. 

Third, sometimes we fall out of love with a show. We can't get past something the writers did, we can't move on. It's sad, and maybe we're angry or frustrated. It happens, and it sucks wide. But if that happens to you? Please don't ruin it for the rest of us. If you really can't move on, then either find a place where that kind of bitterness is welcome, or find a new show. We'll respect you the more for having done so. 

Fourth, this is a moderated site. No, we don't look at every post before allowing anyone else to see it, but the mods and admins read what gets posted, and if we feel that your comments are skirting the line, or over it, we'll say so. We want people to come here, hang out, and have a good time discussing the show. We know not everyone will always agree (the mods don't all agree with one another on every point!) but we will not allow the site to spiral into negativity and bitterness, and that's our right. Again, if that's what you need, there are plenty of sites where that's welcome. 

Anywhere people gather - even digitally - tensions can erupt, misunderstandings can happen, etc. But we have a great group of people here and we're looking forward to the rest of this season - and however many more we might get. Thanks so much for joining us. 

Edited 1 time by NatesMama May 23 15 9:27 AM.